So yeah. A lot has changed since i last wrote one of these. One thing being that it is actually a reasonable hour. I have a few diagnosis now that explain a few things I thought I would always live with and hide. I've lost a few friends who i cared about but couldnt waste energy on anymore and watched them go their seperate ways. It hurts but not as much. But I think I'm finally learning how to move on without hating the past. I can love the memories I have with these people but not love these people now. I am going into a dress rehearsal for dance after school today. People at the studio are a second family and with all the ups and downs that come with such shared blood. But we always come through for each other. I have danced at the same studio since I was four. I then wanted to be amazing I wanted to master pirroutes and leaps and be beautiful. It was a lacking dream, I sorta sucked, and continue to. But I try. I worked my ass off on my fouttes for show. There is a weird sense of being known there like no where else. At school I haven't had friends so longstanding as them. At home I'm more reserved. There is a place that every version age and chaos of myself that has been seen. It's slightly terrifying. I've been so tired. Every day I just am so tired. I'm supposed to be working on an assesment right now, but who am I to care if I fail eight grade english. I tried to learn how to put a background to this site. I really did try. But here I am on a cruddy white html site that no one reads because I haven't made the posts public. I should probably figure out how to do that.
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